How to Be Frugal While Dating a Great Girl
I am not a relationship expert but I have noticed that a lot of guys who can’t seem to keep a girl interested in them make the same mistakes with the girls that they make with their money. They go all in at the beginning of the relationship and pretty soon they burn out. It’s really the same thing with money. You get your paycheck and you spend everything right away and then you’re broke for a week or longer.
Guys, that is no way to live and it’s definitely no way to date a girl, especially one that is really a great girl to date.
Take Stock of What Your Goal is
Dating should be about getting to know someone. Maybe you will fall in love and get married, maybe not. She may be a great girl but she may not be your keeper. You need to spend some time learning her temperament, her likes and dislikes, and what makes her want to be with you. You won’t do that if you try to impress her.
Impressing a girl with money is one of the biggest mistakes guys make. Not only is it a poor financial decision but it leaves the girl feeling like she is with a loser who has no self-confidence.
The self-confident man doesn’t try to shore himself up with money. He spends money on what he needs and saves the rest. If you’re looking for a wife, believe me you want to marry the girl who appreciates your frugality and good shopping sense. You don’t want to be her everyday shopping buddy.
So if you’re just trying to make an impression, that is a pretty shallow goal. It doesn’t lead to anywhere. I’m not going to tell you how to find the girl of your dreams but I will say this: confidence is worth far more than money with any girl who wants a decent boyfriend who may be husband material. And she is probably looking for ambition.
Ambition is the Key to All Success
When I talk about ambition I don’t mean you have to be working on a plan to become president or a billionaire. But I do mean that you need to look at any poor situation as an opportunity for improvement. The ambitious man’s motto is “I can do better than this; I WILL do better than this”. And he delivers on that promise more often than not.
Whatever your job is today, you know you will have a better job in 2-5 years. However you live today, you know you will live better in 2-5 years. That is ambition. It’s realistic when you believe in it because you’re believing in yourself.
Frugality Breeds Ambition
If you’re not going to buy love with expensive dates then you’re going to have to earn it with interesting dates. Being frugal doesn’t mean being cheap. Maybe a group of your friends will get together for a “Put Put Night” and that is a good way to spend some time with your girl, but only with the group of friends. “Put Put Nights” don’t make great dates. You’ll leave her feeling like you’re either broke or cheap.
Once you two have settled into a solid relationship, if you both really love put-put games, you can go do a “low budget date” once in a while. Otherwise, that’s not a good choice for a frugal date.
A good frugal date is one where you combine good food with good entertainment and an exciting experience on a low budget. You don’t want to give the girl the wrong impression so the more casual you make the offer of your date — that is, the less of a big build up you give her — the easier it it becomes for both of you to enjoy the time you spend together.
Start out by inviting her to spend some time with you doing something you enjoy. If she really likes you she may enjoy just being with you (but there is a downside to that — later in the relationship she’ll lose interest in the activity).
There’s nothing wrong with exploring new things together. But you don’t have to spend a fortune. Think of activities that are good for couples at modestly priced venues. Do some research on the Internet to find interesting local attractions that don’t cost much and which don’t attract huge crowds.
A lot of small, out-of-the-way cafes and restaurants are located near low budget entertainment that is different from what she may be used to.
Use the Money you Save for Occasional Nicer Dates
You can be TOO frugal, and that is not a good thing. Once in a while this special girl is going to want you to treat her to a night on the town. That may include a nice dinner, maybe a seasonal play or show (she may love the ballet), and probably a few tips for valets.
This is not your first or second date. Even a third date is kind of chancey for spending that kind of money. A supernice date is a way for you both to celebrate the growth of your relationship.
When you set up that nicer date make sure you have nice clothes, clean your car, and keep your place tidy and uncluttered. But don’t spend a lot of money on frivolous things throughout your relationship. In a loving relationship both partners earn the other partner’s love and respect. It doesn’t come easy for anyone.
If you’re living a frugal lifestyle you can crank it up a notch or two to show your girl that she is important to you, but you can’t buy her love so don’t throw money around like there is no tomorrow. When tomorrow comes you won’t have a girl OR money.
Here are A Few Activities that Couples Often Enjoy
Comedy Shows Check out your local comedy clubs with your friends. Don’t take a girl to a club with a rough crowd or where the humor is so off-center that she might be offended. Remember, you want her to feel safe with you, not like you’ll be mugged as you stagger out on to the street.
Dancing If you don’t know how to dance, find a local dance studio and take dance lessons for 2-3 months. They are usually affordable and you’ll build up your confidence.
Factory Tours Whether you’re visiting a winery or a local bottling plant, many food and beverage companies now offer factory tours that teach consumers about their products. The better factory tours offer entertaining shows and shopping.
Local Bands You may be able to hear live music at community centers and parks, often for free, especially during the Spring and Summer months. These are great dating experiences when you both enjoy the same music. Take a few things to ensure you’re comfortable, like camping chairs if you have any.
Local Plays Many communities have local theater troupes. These plays can be awesome dating experiences.
Museums with Entertainment When you’re married you and your wife may spend some time in a museum or too, especially after you have children. When you are dating you will want to check out shows at planetariums and cool lectures or IMAX presentations at major museums. Go for the entertainment, not the fossils.
Seasonal Festivals and Fairs These can be expensive events but they are usually casual affairs and may be all-day events. Never a good choice for a first or second date, they can nonetheless stretch your budget if you go with a group of friends.
Always check out a venue before you take your date there. You don’t want to disappoint her. And always have a backup plan in case inclement weather or anything else disrupts your plans.
